There was a time when people believed the sun revolved around the Earth.
There was a time when doctors recommended cigarettes.
There was a time when multitasking was praised as the gold standard of productivity.
All widely accepted. All defended. All eventually proven wrong.
Society gets things wrong. So why are we so certain it’s right about women and work?
The Meritocracy Myth
We were told: work hard and you’ll be rewarded.
My national research study, The Quiet Crisis tell us:
- 72% of women believe they earn less than they deserve
- 54% often overwork or struggle to disconnect
If effort alone determined outcomes, those numbers wouldn’t coexist.
This isn’t about women lacking ambition. It’s about women overperforming inside systems that quietly undervalue them.
The Emotional Intelligence Reversal
For decades, women were told they were “too emotional” to lead.
Emotion was framed as instability. Weakness. Now?
Emotional intelligence is one of the most sought-after executive competencies in leadership development programs.
The very trait used to sideline women is now considered a strategic advantage.
That’s not evolution by accident. That’s proof that cultural narratives lag behind reality.
And if we were wrong about that, what else are we wrong about?
The “Have It All” Narrative
We were told women could have it all. Career. Motherhood. Partnership. Leadership. Health and wellness.
But here’s what “having it all” looks like in real data:
- 75% say they feel they have to “grin and bear it” or “suck it up.”
- 68% frequently put others’ needs ahead of their own.
- 67% regularly skip activities that support their well-being.
That’s not balance. That’s chronic self-sacrifice.
The problem is we didn’t redesign the system. We just expanded the expectations.
The Motherhood Collision
We pretend the professional environment is neutral. It isn’t.
One respondent shared:
“I’m constantly struggling between advancing in my career and being the ideal wife and mother. This can impact my overall wellbeing and happiness”
Modern women are building careers inside systems created around outdated caregiving assumptions, and then we call the fallout “personal choice.” We are asking women to operate in a modern world using antiquated frameworks. And then we blame them for the strain.
The Never Enough Trap
If culture is right, achievement should create fulfillment.
Instead:
- 69% feel that no matter how much they achieve, it’s never enough.
That’s not a motivation problem. It’s a narrative problem. When self-worth becomes tethered to output, success becomes a moving target. And women are sprinting toward a finish line that keeps shifting.
History teaches us something uncomfortable
The most normalized ideas are often the ones we challenge last.
The sun didn’t revolve around Earth.
Smoking wasn’t healthy.
Multitasking doesn’t make us more productive.
Women aren’t too emotional to lead.
So what if the issue isn’t women? What if it’s the way we work?
What if:
- The traditional work model, built around constant availability, linear careers, and invisible caregiving labor is outdated?
- What if busyness is a relic of an industrial-era definition of value?
- What if leadership structures designed decades ago are misaligned with how modern families, modern brains, and modern ambition actually function?
We’re not looking at isolated burnout. We’re looking at an outdated system still running on default settings.
The model is long overdue for an upgrade. And culture doesn’t upgrade itself. People challenge it first.
So the real question isn’t how can women handle more. It’s whether we’re willing to challenge the architecture of work itself.
At what point do we admit the narrative itself is broken? And if history is our teacher, then this is on us.
What narratives are we still defending that no longer serve the reality of how women live and lead?
